Most women are NOT intentional when they date. In fact, I’d say most women just “go with the flow”. I wanted to talk about the dangers with this thinking and how it can “backfire” in the most unexpected ways.
Human beings are biologically programmed to “link up” with another human being. Our survival is linked to the quality of the bond between us and our romantic partner.
The problem with the “go with the flow” approach is.. women who go this route stop looking for a mate at all. They don’t go on Dating apps, they avoid online dating, they don’t flirt with men, they don’t go out regularly to “meet men”, they often turn down dates because they’re not intentional about dating.
There’s 2 dangers to this.
First, because less number of men enter their radar, when a man DOES enter, it’s easy for the woman to make special reservations for him because he’s the “special one” that broke through.
Which means she’ll start breaking her own rules to “keep him around”, because her biological make up is to “link up” with another. Now, instead of using her head to stir clear of bad men and bad choices, she’s now going to allow her HEART, her emotions to be in the driver’s seat.
Second, because she is not used to dealing with these “intense feelings”, her “insecurities” are now also triggered. Extremely competent, confident women will become needy, clingy and extremely insecure and risk getting their heart broken UNNECESSARILY.
So what is it that women learn? Men are bad, falling in love is bad, my male picker is wrong, relationships are not worth it, I keep attracting wrong men, and so the cycle starts ALL over again.
If you do not date intentionally and you deny your genetic make up, you’re more likely to get hurt.
That is why casual sex isn’t so casual. Our sex drives are very very powerful, they are a built-in mechanism that “overrides” the brain, and forces you outside your house and into a man’s BED. Even when it’s cold and wet outside and you have an early work day tomorrow.
You think you lack self-control? No, you’re a human being. You’re made to reproduce.
Dating is a MATING game. Human culture is a product of human nature, so all the “rules” in dating is not just there for no reason, they are designed to help give you the highest chance to succeed at attracting the best mate – the best “gene” for your offspring.
As a side note, evolution doesn’t care about your feelings, about love, about being happy or anything else your head wants.
Let me know what you think. This approach is certainly more “logical” than others, but long term love requires logic and long term thinking. If you like this kind of content, let me know and I’ll make more of this “type” for you 🙂
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Okay I get it ladies, you already have a checklist, and at this point, you may be ready to throw it out the window. I prefer to call mine, the DREAM list, it only works if you know how to put it to USE for you.
Starting with a list you’re EMOTIONALLY invested in is a start. Do not pick arbitrary traits or purely superficial traits… neither will get you far.
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Let me know what you think. This approach is certainly more “logical” than others, but long term love requires logic and long term thinking. If you like this topic of content, let me know and I’ll be sure to create more content like this in the future.
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