The big question I had when I was single was “how can I meet single men?” I realized entering my 30s that I had never “dated” before. I had a string of long term relationships in my 20s and back then, it seemed easy to just fall into relationships. In my 30s, when I tried the typical online route (Tinder, Online Dating etc) it was surprisingly really disappointing.
So this time when I became single again I wanted to try meeting single men in real life. Yes, the “normal” way.
This article is also different. I didn’t want another regurgitation of the “common places” other lists contain. Instead I remember being single and “going out regularly”. But how successful was this method of just “going out”?
I wanted to tackle that question.
Here’s my somewhat overly long Top 21 Places to Meet Single Men…
21. Pub / Sports Bar
I placed this at spot 21, not because you can’t meet single men here, but because I’ve personally had zero luck.
Guys that go to Pubs in Australia are not the most social or friendly bunch (my experience) and most just seem to want to zone out to drink beer and watch the footie.
Make sure this is your type of scene and that you frequent these locations on a weekly/regular basis.
20. Short One/Two Day Classes
Whether it’s cooking, life drawing, dancing or creative writing classes, there are plenty of small workshops you can go to.
At one of my creative writing classes there were a nice split of men and women.
Keep an open mind however because there will be a mixture of young university students and older middle-aged dabblers. Either way, men who come to these classes likely have a lot of free time on their hands and that means, they’re most likely single!
19. Outdoor Group Workout Sessions
Local gyms and yoga places often organize free group workout sessions on the weekend.
They’re free, it’s a great opportunity to meet people and you also can get into the best shape of your life!
As with anything else, you must go regularly to get anything out of this! Personally I didn’t do it regularly enough to see real results. The guys were a nice perv (eye-candy) though!
I have heard couples meeting at local restaurants and usually it’s from sitting at tables near one another.
For this to work you need to be out at restaurants that’s more suited for group events and socializing than the “small and intimate” places.
The key to making this work? Go with a small group of fun, crazy and positive girlfriends. Try to sit near a group of equally friendly and fun men. After a few rounds of drinks, throw some flirtatious smile their way and watch them make their way over.
Although I’ve never met men this way, I’ve heard it can work quite well.
17. Live Music Event
Personally I’ve been to Rave / Dance events and Live concerts. If you’re into some other type of music, I’m sure there are live music events centered around your genre.
Depending on the demographic of the music, you may find the crowd younger or older than you would like.
I found it wasn’t as easy to “meet men” here because most people come with friends for the music and dancing. They’ll tend to stick within the group. You may get lucky though and really hit it off with someone.
I personally had no luck at these events. They were not really my scene either so I didn’t go to these very often.
Weddings are often a great place to meet single people. It’s already a romantic atmosphere, it makes people more optimistic about love and you’re usually stuck for hours at the same location with a bunch of people – lots of opportunities to mingle and talk.
Although I’ve heard of friends flirting with others at weddings, I’ve yet to know of anyone who has met the love of their life there.
Personally I’ve never had any luck meeting men here. Most of the weddings I’ve been to were full of coupled up people and relatives… so it does depend on the kind of social group you’re in.
15. Coffee Shop
There was a period I would grab my laptop and head to the local coffee shop to do most of my work. I run an online business so I spend a lot time alone, this made going to coffee shops an obvious choice to combat the loneliness.
I’d spend hours here because it was comfortable, I could get my coffee, use the free wifi and enjoy the fact I was still around people.
In all the times I’ve been going to coffee shops (and I love coffee so I’ve been to a few of them), I’ve only been approached once. And that was on a rare day when I didn’t have my laptop.
That’s why it’s only number 15 on my list. It sounds “great” in theory but I think to make this work you’ve got to enjoy going to these alone and have relatively “nothing” to do so men feel you’re more approachable.
14. Dog Park
I have two dogs, a Labrador that is near the end of its rope and the other is a rambunctious young Husky. Having dogs mean you go on dog walks often. I would take my dog for a walk nearly everyday.
The reason I put this one in was because just about every “where to meet men” list has it and in truth I have “met men” this way.
But the truth is, although you can meet men, the chances of you meeting Mr Right or Prince Charming at a dog park is probably 1 in 1000? Maybe even less?
Yes, take your dogs on walks because you should do that anyway but don’t bet on getting a date as well!
13. On Holiday
Ok we’re getting to that portion of the list where you can certainly meet men in these locations but the quality is often questionable.
If you’re going on holiday, there’s a very high chance you’ll meet men – either locals who will be fascinated by your accent or other tourists after a fling.
Go into this with realistic expectations. Have fun with guys (use protection), do whatever that is enjoyable but do NOT expect a relationship to come out of it. In fact, just don’t even go there, that’s one less headache you need to worry about.
In the best case scenario you strike up a friendship with a guy and you can stay in touch via Facebook or email… that’s about the best you can hope for but even this I’ve found is very unlikely.
12. Hiking / Camping / Outdoorsy Stuff
I found a hiking group on Meetup.com, wanted to try it but didn’t have friends who wanted to so I decided to join the group and learn something new.
Was I hoping to meet guys there? Of course! Did I think I would meet guys? I thought there’d be a very good possibility. Men are everywhere after all.
So as luck would have it (if you can call it luck), I went and met a bunch of cool interesting men and women. As I predicted a lot of men were single, I think only one or two couples came.
Personally I found it to be very successful in meeting men. You could walk with people for long periods of time, you can spend hours conversing while enjoying nature and you had the added benefit of “asking for help” especially if you’re a newb like me and know nothing about camping/hiking.
11. Live Salsa Classes / Events
Unlike a nightclub, the men here seem much more respectable and more keen to dance than to “hit on girls”. Although I have been hit on at these events, you’ll have fun and the quality of men isn’t half bad.
If you’re open to learning something new and you’re open to dancing with strangers, this may be a great way to meet men.
I did find there were a lot of “older men”. If you’re into men your age and older this may be a good option for you.
10. Board Game Night
I’m a bit of a nerd so I do enjoy playing games that are mentally stimulating. I also enjoy the very social aspect of playing board games.
Into slightly nerdy men? This is a great location for you. I’m not talking about the “bad, smelly, live with his mum in the basement kind of nerdy” but the “decent, intelligent and hardworking kind”.
I’ve had success meeting some really great men here. Unfortunately they were not my type physically, however they were some of the more interesting people I’ve met.
9. House / Dinner Parties
The benefit of having a few social friends is there are plenty of invites to house parties or social gatherings.
If you’re running in professional circles, look for extremely social people who host these events and make sure you get invited as often as you can.
Social people are always looking to meet more people. If you know they also run in similar professional circles then there are better odds you’ll meet someone you click with.
In general, say “yes” more than you say “no”. The more often you say yes the more likely you’ll be invited out next time. For these to be successful you need to go as often as you can.
It’s a surprise to list the Grocery store so high on my list. You hear of this kind of thing happening but how often does it really happen?
Well, I’m not saying to bet on this approach. Considering how many times I’ve gone to a grocery store and the amount of time I was actually approached in one, the ratio of meeting men is very very low.
But it gets spot 8 because nearly everyone needs to go to the supermarket. You have to eat right? So this one at least requires “less effort” than some of the others.
A few years ago I was approached while browsing the grocery aisles. He was direct but respectable. He asked for my number and I gave it. I was impressed by his forwardness and how “decent” he appeared.
So although meeting a decent man in a grocery store CAN happen, chances are really low and I wouldn’t bet my dollar on it.
7. Through Acquaintance / Friends
Similar to 9, this method of meeting men is more “targeted” because you’re getting friends to deliberately set you up. The best type of person to set you up with is a girlfriend who is social but happily taken already.
A good girlfriend will know what type of guy you like and won’t like. She’ll do half of the screening for you, making these kind of setup far better than a “blind date” recommended through family members.
To make this work, you have to know the right people. If your current circle of friends isn’t too helpful, it’s time to branch out and make more friends.
6. Gym / Yoga
If you go to a gym you can meet men, but you must be open to the possibility. Just focusing on your workout with your earphones in will do you no good.
The more regularly you go the higher the chance of meeting a guy. Men will start to take notice of you and see you’re a regular. They’ll start to feel more comfortable about approaching and it will appear more natural when it happens.
You can also ask men to help with using the equipment or workouts to get the conversation started.
I did get into a relationship with a man I met at a gym. It ultimately didn’t work out but you can definitely meet men at the gym. Don’t be afraid to approach, smile and be open to all possibilities.
5. Organizing Meetups Or Interest Groups
Although I was regularly on Meetup.com and going to social events, I found if I wanted to meet people “like me”, the best way was to organize my own groups.
This is the concept of starting your own tribe and creating a group around YOUR interests. Sure it’s more work for you but you can have more control as well.
Think about your interests and what kind of people you’d love to be surrounded by. Consider starting your own regular group to meet like-minded people.
I had great success with this. I started a group around “Drawing” and met a great guy there. I started a “Learn Chinese” group and met a bunch of great guys there too.
4. Night Clubs / Bars
Why is this so high on my list? Well I’d be lying if I didn’t list it because I have met a lot of men this way (not all of them bad).
The nightclub / bar scene gets a bad rep (and understandably so). About 80% of the time you’ll attract men who just want to have fun. These are men after a one night stand and nothing more.
If you go into it prepared and with realistic expectations, this scene is not too bad. You can meet interesting people and you don’t have to go home with any of them.
If you want to find a relationship, this isn’t the most ideal place but then again there is no “ideal ONE place” to find that kind of thing.
3. Meetup.com / Social Events
Different from organizing your own group is to join other people’s groups. There are plenty of interest groups on Meetup.com; from the social kind to the business networking kind.
Social events are usually for expats or newcomers in town. If you’re also a newcomer, these are a good place to start.
I’ve had a lot of success meeting decent, educated and nice men at these events. Of course, you’ll also meet men you wouldn’t date even if they were the last person alive, but you don’t have to talk to those guys.
Personally I found after you establish a solid social circle, these events become less and less necessary. The quality of men will also go up as friend circles tend to serve up better quality men too.
I still list this high because if you’re running dry from other avenues, this one is always available.
2. Live Seminar / Speaking Events
Live seminars are great as you’re surrounded by people of similar interest as well as in a completely immersive environment.
I really enjoyed these events and have always met like-minded and amazing people here.
The one major downside is you’ll often have to travel far away and they’re only available once or twice a year.
The good news is the people you meet is higher quality, much better suited to you and are more social. There is also this natural professionalism and respectability surrounding these events that other casual locations won’t have.
1. Focused Networking Events
And the number one favourite way for me to meet single and quality men is focused networking events!
They’re events that focus on one common interest (business, entrepreneurs, self-development, food etc), that you know the type of man you like would go to.
They’re often higher quality than meetup groups and may have a higher cost of entry.
These groups are also smaller and more intimate allowing you time to properly get to know people.
The best way to try to meet men is to start conversations by talking about your common interests.
You may also find yourself standing in line at times, and this is a great place to strike up a conversation with people near you.
Ok before I finish off, there are some honorable mentions in which I didn’t list.
- Bookstores / Library
- Volunteer Work
- Live Sport Games
- Driving Range
- Speed Dating events
The only one I’ve had experience with was the Speed Dating event. Although it was fun and interesting, I didn’t get much out of it.
As you can see you can virtually meet men anywhere. The key to doing it is to go out regularly, frequent the same places weekly, find groups with common interests, be social, make friends, get into new social circles and you’ll definitely meet men!
Is it a lot of work? Maybe. If you think this is work then you need to find social events and hobbies you enjoy!
Did you know that getting out and meeting men is not a guarantee that you’ll find “the RIGHT guy”?
In fact this strategy is often plain WRONG.
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